I had a phone call with my mum the other day which went a little bit like this:
Mum: Hi lovely girl! I just wanted to say I was thinking about something. I’ve realised that you’re the come back kid!
Mum: Well you are! You are so good at trying things and doing them. And then sometimes things happen and you stop. But you’re just really good at a while later, trying something else and just picking yourself up and starting again!
Me: Oh, so…in other words, I’m really good at quitting?!
I feel a bit guilty that my initial reaction was just to kind of bash what cutey lil Mama K was saying, because she was just being nice, but, the more I thought about it, the more I realised it’s true! Guys, I’m really good at quitting!
When I was five I started gymnastics. And I loved it. And I was really good. I actually got told I had olympic potential. And then, the girl who I started with, Annie, decided to stop going. And I was too shy a girl to stay there without my friend, so I quit. Now I can barely touch my toes without all my joints cracking.
At around eight I took up the guitar because my Dad and Big Bro both played. I got quite good. And then I got annoyed at the strings hurting my little fingers and having to cut my nails. So I quit. Twenty years later I can roughly show you three chords and very badly play the first verse of Good King Wenceslas…very useful.
It’s currently National Poetry month and I’ve been attempting to be part of a Poem Every Day challenge. Where, shockingly, you write a poem every day, with a different prompt. Yesterday I realised I was 6 days behind, because it got hard and I just…quit. Poetry is hard as balls. (To be fair, I did get struck with inspiration on the bus this morning and whacked out five. So, go me.)
I have about two dozen half finished novels, scripts and children’s books on my laptop because about half way through each one I start hating it, or get another REALLY EXCITING IDEA that I just have to start RIGHT NOW and then forget about the previous ones.
I think I’m basically like a magpie, but instead of getting colossally distracted by shiny things, it’s just…everything. The other day I was late to a pilates class because I was too busy looking at some clouds. Everything interests me. I think I’m just a fingers in pies girl. The thought of doing one thing forever is so entirely boring to me. So, I try everything. Give up everything. Try everything again.
I even quit this blog post a couple times before seeing the IRONY RIGHT IN MY FACE.
It is funny though. One thing I think I’m really good at not quitting, is people. Which is sometimes just as bad as quitting. I like to think I’m very loyal (I hope?). So even if people tell me to fuck off, I kiiiiiinda just stick around. I like to believe there’s good in everyone, even if I have to dig real deep over and over again and get bummed out because of it. But if I’m your friend, you’re basically stuck with me forever, soz.
Maybe one of these says I will find the one thing that makes me not want to quit. Who knows. But I actually don’t care. I think life is there to be lived. And if that means trying out a million things then that’s really cool. At least I never really get bored, because there’s always something new around the corner! And as I said to myself at the start of the year, I want to say yes more. Do more. Experience more. So maybe, maaaaybe, quitting isn’t actually something to be ashamed of! I’m going to embrace it and see where it takes me.
Because hey, if I had become a guitar playing, poet laureate gold medal olympian…then I wouldn’t be here right now. RIGHT? Okay cool yeah thanks.
Any of you quit everything too?