As women, we are conditioned from such a young age to not be happy with the bodies we live in.
We’re consistently bombarded with media outlets saying we’re too fat or too thin. This week our boobs are too big, next week they’re too small. Got stretch marks? OH MY GOD you’re hideous! Whatever way we are, we’re wrong.
Alert the presses, woman has armpit
It’s just a fact that we are constantly made to feel not good enough.
And then, on top of this, we get the shame of sex too. The subject of women and sex is still some sort of weird taboo. Everyone knows that just as many women have sex as men. But, for a woman to actually enjoy sex, and enjoy regular sex, maybe even regular sex with a non-regular partner? Well, that’s another story.
But wait, there’s more…
The two together are a nightmare! For a woman to be confident with her body AND to enjoy having sex? Well, she must be a slut. A slag. A whore. Easy. Dirty. RIDDEN WITH DISEASE!
God forbid a woman who knows what she wants!
Why must this stigma follow us around? Growing up, boys are (generally) praised for ‘playing the field’, for going out and getting as many notches on their bedposts as they can. The more the better – they’re a ladies man! They’re conditioned to think it makes them more attractive to girls. That they know what they’re doing. But flip it around and put the girl out there, having fun and she’s just ‘that slag that everyone’s had a go on’.
And we’re still made, by society, in 2015 (although so many events quickly make me realise how unbelievably backwards our world still seems to be) to feel guilty if we want to have sex with someone that doesn’t mean anything more than just the physical act of getting off. GUILTY! It’s so outrageous that it’s funny. We’re made to believe that we should always feel things for the people we sleep with. That we should want more. It’s so ridiculous. Girls have needs too y’know that can be solved with a quick bang. (Or, as my lovely friend Grace writes here, a little lady time…)
Shay did this wonderful post about the art of moving forward and it really got me thinking. So I’m here to make a statement.
I REALLY LOVE MY BODY
I have spent so so many years thinking of all the “wrong” bits about me. I have spent so so many years thinking that no one could possibly find me attractive – even when I’ve been in relationships – because I am not stick thin or I am not tall enough or I am not cool enough or my thigh gap is barely there or I am not this or I am not that!
It. is. exhausting.
I was so worried about other people that I didn’t stop to even think about myself properly.
And damn baby, my body is amazing.
I’ve got a small waist, hourglass hips, boobs and an ass that don’t quit. I’ve got all the curves I’ve ever wanted. All my bones work. My blood flows around. My heart beats. My eyes open and close. My hair grows. My brain is capable of learning new things, giving me love, passion and creativity.
I’m a freaking badass.
But wait, there’s still more!
I ALSO REALLY LIKE SEX
And why wouldn’t I? It’s the most natural thing that humans do. And it’s totally rad. I know what I like. I have a healthy sex drive. And I’ll have it if I want it.
Does that make me a slut? Hell no! It makes me in control of the way I feel and what I want. It makes me…me.
But I think that hits the nail on the head doesn’t it. Women are not supposed to have this power. We’re not supposed to be okay, no wait, we’re not supposed to be in love with ourselves! We’re supposed to buy in to the magazines and the instagrams and the tweets and the hate and the flaws that are always thrown into our faces.
And of course, it’s a lot easier said than done to ignore all of that and start believing that we are the incredible creatures we want to be. But I’ve sure as hell had enough. Because at the end of the day, this is it isn’t it? We only have this body. And I for one am gonna start giving it the appreciation it’s needed for the last 28 years. Starting with a big ol’ slap on the butt. Because you know, butts are rad…