This week I watched Die Hard for the first time ever. I don’t know why I’ve gone so many years without ever seeing it. But somehow it slipped my radar. Anyway. I watched it. And I loved it. Glad to see that Mr Vernon has a night job too.
But it made me think about all the Christmas films I love. So I’ve come up with a list of five. And this is not so much my top five (apart from the first two, OBVIOUSLY) but more five-films-that-I-watch-every-year-even-if-they-are-absolutely-terrible-because-actually-sometimes-the-terrible-ones-are-the-best. I might need a shorter title…
Of course this actually is THE greatest Christmas film of all time and therefore absolutely needs to be in the list. Not only is Kevin a genius and comes up with the most badass traps…but he’s also so genius that he sparked a flame in myself, my bro’s and our friend Ben when we were all under 10 years old to make our own version of the film. Our parents even got involved. And we had a blooper reel. It was incredible. And, alongside this, the raddest of scores from none other than John Williams.
Home Alone 2 : Lost in New York
Yeah you guessed it, Kevin’s back. This time the traps are even more badass, he’s a total style icon, he has a talkboy…but above all, he’s SO WISE.
There’s this lovely scene where he’s talking to the Bird Lady and drops some freaking life bombs on her. It’s great.
Holiday in Handcuffs
This. Film. Is. Terrible. Seriously, it’s so bad. But that’s what makes it hilariously good. The premise is a girl gets dumped and kidnaps a dude to take home to her family and pretend to be her boyfriend. Already ridiculous. Even more so when the girl is played by Melissa Joan Hart (aka Sabrina the Teenage Witch) and the boy she kidnaps is Mario Lopez (aka AC Slater form Saved By The Bell). It’s a 90s dream in a 00’s winter jacket.
Winona Forever. And ever and ever. Johnny Depp is alright I guess. But Winona is my girl. And there’s that scene where Edward is shaving the ice sculpture and she just dances around in it with her ginger hair and is everything you want to be in life. I don’t even like snow or being cold but I’d do that.
Wham! Last Christmas
Okay so yes technically this is not a film it’s a music video. But it’s also a freakin masterpiece. The hair! The brow game! THE LONGING STARES. The oversized coats. The terrible terrible acting. The tension when he drops the tinsel on her shoulder. The multiple cross fades. I COULD GO ON. It’s everything you want from a music video and more. Also the song is great too.
So there you have it. My recommendations for your festive eyes. Shay, KBear, avid readers…what are your suggestions? The more awful the better in my opinion…